did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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