BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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