I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
