if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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