There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
