If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
