Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
