Can i not drive my cunt home
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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