Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
