Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
