Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
