how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
