I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
