wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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