if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I look better un-naked...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
my poor anus
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I came so hard my ears popped.
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