part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
