Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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