Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
