Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
