Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
