i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
