Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
