The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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