: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
