My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
