apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
