oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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