Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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