I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
