You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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