I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
