I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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