The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
