I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
