He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
