3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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