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watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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