I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
