I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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