I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
