Apparently you make a good broom.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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