I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
