I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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