...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
