I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
