he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
