So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
