New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
