Jerry, you need to find god
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
