so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
did i walk over a car last night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
